Life with twins - perfect chaos.
2019
Personal work
Where do I start? Life with twins is…A LOT. That’s my answer many times when I’m asked how things are going with two toddlers. It’s nothing like what you expect parenting to be but more than you could ever dream at the same time. To quote a favorite bedtime story at our house, it’s “two times the hugs, two times the fun.” It’s also two times the work, which is why there’s nearly a year gap between blog posts here.
When I was pregnant and trying to make a game-plan of what the upcoming years would look like (the transition from working photog to stay-at-home-mom to working mom), I knew I would have to be flexible and test out the waters as my babies grew and transitioned in their own stages from birth to kindergarten. Never having experienced life as a parent though, I really had no idea what I was getting into or exactly how flexible I’d have to be. No book, movie or advice can ever fully prepare you for being a parent, much less a parent of twins or a working mom of twins.
One thing that was a complete shock to me (and maybe a lot of people who know me) is I found that not working for a while was okay. There was a point where I didn’t think adding work back into my life could add any more fulfillment than I was experiencing as a mother. Yes, being a mother was/is exhausting and draining, but the tiny fingers and toes, the baby cuddles and giggles, the walks in the parks and playdates were more than enough to fill my heart. And the fact that I had the ability to capture the stories of their lives in vibrantly-colored images or in grainy black-and-whites met my creative needs at the time.
Now, fast forward a bit to early 2020…past clients were calling and booking a bit of portrait and event work, so I was slowly phasing back into a work life of sorts. Stepping back behind the camera and in front of clients made me realize that I did miss my career. I forgot how much I missed the science and creativity of photography, the camaraderie of collaborating with clients, and the ability to meet new people and hear their stories. It all drew me back, and then of course…the world stopped turning (or maybe spinning violently, depending on how you look at COVID).
Although the craziness of COVID has had a negative effect on most people’s lives, the upside I found of the mandatory pause on work was that it made me rethink how I should approach my business as I moved forward post-COVID as a working mom. The break helped me view my work through a different lens (pun intended) and see that it needed a refresh. The short stint back into a working life (pre-pandemic) made me realize that having two toddlers at home would require me to set more boundaries and establish clearer goals in order to create a work/life balance that favored family. It now means taking jobs within the brand I’ve established instead of dabbling here and there, just because I had the time to take a job. Time and focus have new definitions once you become a parent. And sometimes it means letting a few things slip to the wayside (like blog posts and social media) when sick babies (who then have to stay home from daycare) need mommy.
So I guess all of this is just to say that life with twins…it’s perfect chaos. Whether I’m pulling a Radio Flyer wagon with one hand and have a diaper bag slung over my shoulder or pulling a Think Tank camera bag with one hand and a Pelican Case with the other, it’s all kind of a chaotic juggling act where you just find what works for you and strive forward.
Sometimes when I drop my kids off at daycare and know they’re booked to stay longer than normal or that I might miss bedtime because of a shoot, I feel guilty. But then my boy will give me a kiss on the cheek and tell me “Take good pitchers, Mama!” or my girl will say “Bye Mommy! Have a good work!” Then I feel proud to know that with the right amount of balance (and amazing support from my husband, parents and our wonderful daycare), I can be both “Mommy” and a photographer.
